Letters to Love
by coffeeinanebula
Summary: What happened to Andy's letter?


She knew he was due back any minute now, but she couldn't ignore the uneasiness that had settled in her chest when the doctor rolled his bed out the door. Final tests, she reassured herself, just to make sure the clot is removed and he's cleared to go home. She had seen him awake and animated and she knew he was okay. But the uneasiness didn't go away.

She sighed to herself and rose from her chair, wishing she hasn't sent Rusty and Provenza away with the reassurance that she'd be fine until Andy was released. Alone in the room, she found herself staring out the window while her fingers idly played with Andy's sleep shirt. It was a clean one she had brought up earlier and smelled of their laundry detergent instead of him. She slipped her glasses off and set them aside, absentmindedly refolding the shirt. As she did, a flash of yellow stood out and she carefully pulled it from between his clothes.

She slid her finger along the crease, wondering if it was further instructions Andy had written down from the doctor. She had them memorized, but his thoughtfulness astounded her. She shrugged and pulled it open, immediately realizing it wasn't what she thought it was. Paragraphs of Andy's writing covered the lines and she found herself scanning it before she could stop herself; it was a letter addressed to her.

 _Sharon,_

 _It's funny how you think about random moments of your life when you face a surgery like this. Of course I'll come out the other side in one piece, more or less, but just in case. I don't want to leave any loose ends behind. If someone had told me years ago that Captain Sharon Raydor of Internal Affairs would help me get my family together, I would have laughed. Probably done more than that, but I don't want another month of sensitivity training._

Sharon let out a soft laugh and glanced at the doorway before she leaned against the wall and returned her eyes to the letter.

 _Nothing could have prepared me for this moment in our lives. I thought I had royally screwed up with them, with Nicole. But you made sure I went to her wedding and I've actually gotten to know my step-grandsons. Thank you, Sharon. Look, I know a letter is probably the worst way possible to do this, but I need you to know if I'm not there to say it. And because Provenza refused to tell you if I don't make it out._

She felt her breath hitch and she gripped the paper a little tighter, careful not to rip it. She found her vision swimming, barely able to read the words through the tears trying to fall.

 _You've given me more in the past few months than I dared to ask for. I honestly don't know what you could see in a recovering alcoholic, but I'm glad to have at least had that_.

She heard the clunk of wheels and turned around to see the nurses wheeling Andy's bed into the room. She quickly blinked her eyes and glanced up, swallowing hard as she tried to get control of herself. No one said anything and when she returned her gaze to him, he was hooked up to his monitors again and watching her.

"I love you, Sharon," he whispered, and she felt her heart jump at the words, at the open emotions flickering across his bruised face. "I love you, and I'm so glad I'm awake to tell you that myself."

With shaking hands, she lowered the paper to the table and approached him, her hands clenched together in front of her. She rubbed her thumb along the side of her other hand, eyes searching his face. When she reached his bedside, she fumbled for his hand and he tightly tangled their fingers together. She didn't try to form words, knowing she'd stumble over them and unsure if her voice would even work. He tugged her down, his movements slow and gentle, and she willingly moved. He sat up a little and she immediately wrapped her arms around him, fingers tangling in his hospital gown. Andy's hand rested on her neck, fingers stroking through her thick hair as he let out a soft hum.

"I love you," she finally managed, voice barely audible and breathless from the emotions lodged in her chest and throat. "Oh, God. I love you and don't you dare…" Her voice gave out and she swallowed hard, desperately willing herself not to break down.

He continued stroking her hair, feeling her barely-withheld sobs. He wished he could hold her better, tighter, but she pulled away after a few moments and dabbed at her eyes with her sleeve. She gave him a watery smile, her eyes closing briefly.

"I love you," he repeated, his voice firm as he watched her. She didn't know how they had come this far and she couldn't pinpoint the exact moment they had become friends, let alone anything more. But she knew that she wouldn't trade this moment in time for anything. To hear those words and to see his feelings so clearly on his face. She let out another stifled sob and covered her mouth as she took a deep breath.

"When we go home, I want to hold you." Neither questioned the concept of home; they both knew it meant her condo. "I'll rest and relax and do whatever the doctor wants, but I want you by my side."

"Of course," she whispered, a shaky laugh escaping her. "Yes, of course. Andy…"

He tried to grin but only managed a weak smile as he reached for her hand again. "Thank you."

She took his hand and let her thumb stroke along the wrinkled skin, her eyes meeting his. For now, everything had been said that needed to be.


End file.
